Therese Skelly (@thereseskelly) is a former psychotherapist turned transformational business coach who helps high-achieving women create massive transformations.
In this episode, Bobby talks with Therese about the importance of authenticity in marketing, doing the inner work necessary to unlock real growth in your business, and how Therese builds true partnerships with people who are delighted to promote you.
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podcast Addict, and Pocket Casts.
Click here to read the transcript.
Show Notes:
(01:00) – Introduction
(01:45) – How Clients Find Therese
(03:00) – Finding Partners to Promote You
(04:00) – Nurturing Partner Relationships
(04:45) – Marketing Approaches That Didn’t Work
(07:00) – Standing Out in the Noise
(8:45) – The Power of Speaking
(13:15) – Therese’s Advice for Growing Your Business
Transcript:
Bobby: So tell the listeners a little bit about you and what your company does.
Therese: I started my career as a psychotherapist, and that’s really important because that informs a lot of what I do.
I work with usually high achieving women and my specialty, women come to me because at the level they’re at, they already know the strategy. They’re already doing the ads already having the campaigns and the funnels. And they can’t figure out why it’s not working. Or their sales will lag. Or suddenly they’re getting sick or their relationships are faltering. Or their clients are not showing up. So they come into me going what’s going on? Because they’re trying to fix something. That’s the wrong thing. Oh, just get more ads, get more volume, get more Twitter followers. And what it is, it’s always an energetic problem. So I unblock them and then I walk them into that next level higher version of what they want and who they want to be.
Bobby: So what is the, overall journey that customers take with you from not knowing your company exists, becoming a raving fan?
Therese: Usually people hear me speaking. That’s generally how my audience finds me. Teleseminars, webinars, other people’s audiences, podcasts. And so people hear me, they’re like, she’s kinda cool. And so we circle a bit, they’ll sign up for a freebie. They might go on my Facebook group. I’m an Insight Timer meditation teacher. So people are following me there. So they hear me through speaking and then they come into either my Facebook community, my $97 membership community or my private coaching or my higher end mastermind groups.
Bobby: So I imagine of all the different things that you do, what is the one or two that have worked really well for you for bringing in the most aligned clients?
Therese: The way I got access to a lot of clients, Bobby, is relationships. My email list can only go so far. My Facebook videos can only go so far. So last year I connected with somebody and I came into her community. I was mentoring her. So referrals just flew in because it’s somebody else going, Oh my gosh, you’ve got to go to Therese the rock star here. So it’s not like going up to chamber mixers going, who needs me? It’s cultivating relationships. Like minded, similar values, people that have your back. That’s been my most successful strategy for getting people in the door.
Bobby: How did you go about finding those initial partners and building those relationships?
Therese: Reluctantly. So, little backstory, my son was really sick for a year back in 2021 with COVID and some mental illness stuff.
So I, I just let my business just fall down basically because I had to take care of my sick child. And so when it came back, I was like, I want to network, but I just don’t want to go to a chamber. I’m super intentional about my time. And my work isn’t for everybody. It’s, it’s very highly specialized. You have to understand it.
So I became willing to do that.
What I don’t believe in these days, like that spray and pray stuff. If I go to six networking meetings a week, no, no, no, no, no. Oh my gosh, I would sell coffee if that was my marketing strategy. I’ve had to learn more like hey Can you send this email? Hey, can we jump on a Facebook live and can you promote me. Like, tell people how they can help you right? I think people want to help but they might not know how and you gotta make it easy for them. So that’s how I did it.
Bobby: How do you continue to nurture those relationships and have those partners continue to promote you over time?
Therese: I do a lot of personal outreach. That means I love Facebook messenger or Voxer messages or it’s like, Hey, checking on you. How’s your day? How are your kids?
Actually create real relationships because we all have those, like my affiliate friend, you know, like, yeah, you’ve never talked to the person, you’re getting money off of them, right? So for me, it’s really easy, because I’m just naturally that way. I’m the one that checks on all my friends and what can I do? and I ask, what do you need? How can I support you? So I make it reciprocal. So it doesn’t feel weird. I’m very gracious about sometimes giving first and sometimes giving more.
For me, I don’t believe you can take your business out of your life. And I don’t want relationships whereby we only talk about our marketing numbers. I want relationships where you can say, wow, my kid was sick or oh my gosh, I had the best weekend with my boyfriend. I want real relationships. And even in the world of social media and Facebook, it is so doable.
Bobby: Absolutely. So you said you started your business back in the early 2000s. What were some marketing approaches that you tried that didn’t work as well?
Therese: What was really funny, Bobby, is that it was so much easier. When I first came in, it’s even funny to think about now, it was like, you have a newsletter? This company has a newsletter? Wow. They’re special.
Andif you would put a webinar, boom, hundreds and hundreds, it was like easy peasy. It’s so crowded now. Also, it was very male. I couldn’t say words like intuition or universe or spirituality or God or goddess.
It was like hardcore, masculine, it was this very different world. You’d be at seminars and people would doing the screen of like, and here’s my yacht and here’s my bank account. And so, I like the transparency, the vulnerability. I like the real, it feels more real now.
Bobby: Yeah, I think it’s interesting. I think there’s a segment of the market that definitely aligns and resonates with that message. So I don’t think that message has gone away. But it’s interesting that that was the dominant message through those years. And it’s not that there weren’t people who didn’t resonate with that message, but they weren’t really being served. And so people who market more like you came into the fold, and that message started to resonate with people who are kind of sick of the bro marketers and all they heard was bro marketers.
Therese: Yeah, Exactly. There are some manipulative practices. The stealth selling. The tactics to get people in the back of the room and sign up. And that was going on a lot.
And there was a lot of toxic shaming, manipulative sales techniques that we’ve all been hurt from. How many of us have told her you don’t want it badly enough? Well, no, I wouldn’t say that’s the thing. And so I take an opposite stance. I don’t want to ever have to manipulate or use fast action,
you know? Because I lived through it. I lived through people getting hurt and being in contracts that they couldn’t get out and then being told there’s something wrong with them when actually it was the program that was not very well designed.
So, I think people are craving more. There’s more space for the real guys. For the people that are like, Hey, it’s just me. Like, I love your email series. I got on your email and I’m like, what a cool welcome. That’s so nice. I don’t know that that would have been the case. It was more formulaic. And now it feels like speak from the heart, speak the truth, show your credibility and what you’re going to do. But I feel like there’s more authenticity that is so nice.
Bobby: Yeah, absolutely. But along with that, it’s so noisy out there. How do you deal with the online marketplace being so noisy?
Therese: I’ve given up the, you have to send X amount of emails on this day at this time. And this is the formula. I’m just about the energy. I’m going to tell stories. I’m going to be myself. And I’m more trusting that the people that are mine are going to find me. I think there are things that have worked, can work, but if you’re not being authentic, if you’re not in alignment, the greatest funnel in the world is not going to work.
So it’s just remembering that we’re here to help people at the end of the day. We’re here to make a great living and we’re here to help as many people as we can. And what I always say to my clients is measure something else. Cause they’ll be like, well, I did an email and I didn’t get response. It’s like, okay, you don’t know if that person that you needed to touch today read it and had a shift. Maybe they didn’t tell you that, but you still did some good. I might not see the transformation, but I have to trust that if I’m inspired and I share my good stuff, it’s not wasted. Somebody’s going to get something,
That’s a really good reminder. There’s been so many times where the people that I follow, I’ve gotten tremendous value from the things that they’ve shared. And I never replied. I never said anything. And that happens all the time. So just because you’ve got crickets, you haven’t heard anything doesn’t mean you didn’t give them that shift that they really needed.
Well, I always say nothing’s wasted. And one of my greatest stories is, this was years ago, a woman, she was a local person. I had met her at a networking group. Out of the blue, she called me and said, Oh, this mastermind you’re offering, I want to join it. She said, I’ve been on your list for seven years and I read all of your emails and I love you what you say. But it’s never been the right timing. So you can’t base it on one email or one campaign or one promotion. It’s a long game. It’s a long game.
Bobby: Yeah, I agree. And I think we’re in such a unique space in the coaching and education. area where we’re not a razor company. I don’t know anyone personally who wants to hear from a razor company for seven years. And then the seventh year they would buy.
Therese: Finally!
Bobby: Yeah, I’m finally ready.
Therese: Yes. Oh, that’s, that’s a great analogy. That’s really good. Yeah.
Bobby: So we talked a lot about how you shifted your strategy to be less going to chambers of commerce and that kind of style of networking to be more partnerships and promoting to other audiences. Are there other strategies, tactics, approaches that you’ve tried that have actually worked really well for you?
Therese: Speaking has been probably my best one. Getting on people’s summits. Giveaways a little bit, but generally people in giveaways are looking for like, I want better headlines.
So I’m like, hi, you want to own your value? And they’re like, shut up. I need headlines. Okay. Get those headlines. So for me, summits, podcasts, that kind of stuff. I do a lot with my peers. Like, Hey, you want to do a Facebook live? We’ll stream to yours. We’ll stream to mine. Just getting exposure.
Bobby: I would love to focus in on the speaking. How do we bring our best to the people listening? How do we both, give them the best education and entertainment, but also, transparently, convert them into clients?
Therese: Seeding, telling stories. Like I could tell you about the seven figure client that I just had that was like, your emails are not right because you do way more than that.
So notice I mentioned that I have seven figure clients, right? So you tell stories.
I never go in, I’m going to get you, right? I go in like, This will be fun. So seed, plant stories and give a sense of what the work would be like. You can tell I’m kind of goofy and funny and real, right?
So for me, I’m not a boring guest. I’m fun. I can be happy, happy, and then I can be serious. So show your personality.
It takes a little practice. So I would get on little podcasts. I would have friends interview you. I would do Facebook lives. It’s easier with an interview, sometimes. Just literally sit with a friend and I have them ask you five questions.
Bobby: You’ve spoken a ton of times at different summits and events. Of the ones that has been the most successful talk you’ve given, or even an interview. What did you do differently, or what did you do especially well in that moment?
Therese: Some of it truthfully is the audience. A live audience is so fun for me. I can get them very engaged and I can move the energy and emotions a lot. Those are magnificent.
A lot of it has to do with the host. You’re not doing it, you’re fabulous. Cause some hosts jump over you and talk over you and I’m like, Oh, I’m sorry. Who’s the guest here? Are we highlighting me or you? Stop talking.
And so, if the host just lets me go, that makes it really good. I feel like, for me, the better ones are when it’s not scripted. When I just get to follow the energy. And like, oh, now we’re talking about this. And a host can kind of go with me there. Those are really, really good.
Bobby: So it sounds like making sure the environment is set up for you to succeed and be your full self and play full out.
Therese: Yes, yes.
Bobby: What are you doing to get like that for your event. Are you naturally like this all the time?
Therese: In the olden days when I was less confident. Do you know NLP anchoring? I don’t know if you know or your listeners know that is. So I would anchor in the state of confidence. And I had a physical anchor where I would be like, showtime. So you have to be big. I could just sit and say, I’m really excited about the work I’m doing, but I’ve been really humble and you have to like, and aI think a lot of women have like, I can’t say that. And so it’s moving past any visibility issues or any, God, I really said I was that good. Jesus, what are they going to think? As opposed to, I have to do this because it’s going to help somebody. I have to get over my little small self. It’s going to help somebody.
Also believing that they want you to succeed. Like nobody’s sitting in the audience going, really girl? Really? You’re saying that? When I’m in an audience and I hear a speaker, I’m pro speaker. I’m like, yes, do good. So if you really believe your audience desperately wants that, is cheering for you, they’re just waiting for you. It’s easy to step in if you feel like, oh gosh, what if they doubt me? Well, that’s living in your head. It really is. If you’re like, what if I get a heckler? Well, there’s a heckler in your own head. Shut him up and then you’ll be good out there.
And I give myself permission to be goofy. Sometimes I might swear or I’ll I forgot the question. What was I saying? And I just roll with that.I don’t have shame about it. And I’m like, te ehee silly me. It’s just being real. And people really resonate with like, wow, you were so authentic.
Bobby: I appreciate those tips. Yeah. You show up with a lot of confidence and energy. So clearly it’s working.
Therese: It’s working. Thank you. I was doing a webinar. So here I am, all my Zoom little things set, ready, and then boom, my power went off. So I grabbed my phone and I’m, like, hold on just a second. I’m just, I have all these people on the line and I’m just laughing. And I’m like, how do I record the Zoom? Where’s the Zoom? Where’s the button? I got more compliments on the grace that I held that with. I didn’t get flustered. Because mistakes happen. We’re all going to lose our stuff.
So you gotta stop being worried about not being perfect. That’s gonna kill you. You just show up, you just be you, and people will give you grace.
Bobby: Yeah, I think so many times we want to present our best self, and we try to be polished. But if we think about our closer friendships and the people we’ve known for a long time, we only really know them because we’ve seen them in the tough situations and the challenges. Right.
Therese: Right.
Bobby: So I wanted to ask you, what advice would you give business owners or marketing leaders who are looking to improve their marketing results and grow their business and reach more people?
Therese: You have to grow as your business grows. See, I think we kind of have this idea of, I want that. And then we look for things outside. Okay. What’s the latest strategy? What’s working? Oh, should just increase the ad spend. I could do more Facebook lives We have all these things outside of ourselves, but if you don’t do your inner work, if there’s like a little boy that was bullied when he was seven and he decided that life is hard. I don’t care how much your ad spend is. It’s not going to happen. So you have to understand that your business, it can only go as far as your growth.
And if you’ve hit a plateau, don’t look for a better website. Don’t look for more strategy. Look for do I have the capacity? Am I the identity? You know, they say new level, new devil. The person that got you here is not going to take you there. There’s a whole lot of energetic and inner game mindset stuff that if you don’t attend to, you’re going to waste your money.
I use the word alignment a lot. Things have to be in alignment. Sometimes things can look great on paper. So I was working with a business owner, seven figure. Her husband was stepping into the COO. So he was doing web stuff and now he’s going to be primary taking over all these operations And what a lot of my clients do, they run by their business plans. And she’s all like, yeah, yeah, beautifully mapped out plan. And I feel into the energy, the intuition, And I’m like, your husband is off. He doesn’t have the capacity. He doesn’t see himself being this role. He’s always been behind the scenes, just the web guy, just the tech dude. As a COO, you’re holding more leadership and I’m like, darling, it’s not going to work until you get him on board.
So this is what you say to him. So I did a clearing and then I’m like, now you go talk to him. You say this, this, this, and he has to do this, this, this shifted. But had I not done that, that wouldn’t have gone anywhere because he would have not seen himself as the leader.
It’s like, Whoa, am I this guy now that’s leading everybody? I’ve never been this guy. I was a stupid fat kid that never could do anything right. What?
Bobby: Let’s talk about some of the downsides. If you hadn’t been there to support this guy to step into that role and have a bigger vision. What happens in those situations where they’re not ready to step up?
Therese: I’ll give an example of a situation that just happened today. Client was doing a launch and she’s like, I don’t know what happened, but everything got effed up. Just crazy. Just every single thing. Screwed up the dates. Didn’t get this, like unbelievable mistakes. So the client came and said, is that something where the OBM, do I need to fire her?
And I said, hold on, hold on, hold on. And I used my intuition, follow the energy. And what it was is, everything was going so easy for the client. Ads dialed in, leads are flowing. But from her history, it’s not safe when things are easy. like, money shouldn’t be easy. This is all unconscious. This is childhood stuff. And so there’s no part of this grown seven figure woman that’s going, Hark, it’s too easy. I think I’ll screw something up. We don’t do that. But it’s all energy. So she’s having this ease and then all of a sudden these things are blowing crazy bad.
And then I found like, you’re not trusting ease and she’s like, you’re right. So that’s an example for her. It was, do you have the capacity for ease?
Bobby: Therese, where can people find you online?
Therese: So you can go to my website.
It’s ThereseSkelly.com. Better to go find me on my personal profile on Facebook, Therese Skelly. And just message me like Hey, I heard y’all on Bobby’s podcast, or just shoot me an email, ts@thereseskelly.com. I would love to have a conversation with you.
Bobby: Awesome. And then is there anything else you’d like to share with our listeners?
Therese: I believe that we are given like, this is your work to do in the world, There’s a reason you’re doing ads and I’m not, it was not my work, And if you have this inkling that I’m supposed to do this, you just got to trust that even when it’s falters, even if it seems hard, even if the clients aren’t coming or the money’s not where you want or things are breaking down. If it’s in you to do it, it will happen. You just have to believe that. It’s yours to do. Say yes to it. So that’s what I want you to know.
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